I am not one to say that I was “born to be a mother”. Nope, I’ve had a crash course this year and still have so many lessons to learn. I definitely didn’t grow up dreaming about being a mom “when I grew up” either. I had dreams of being a professional dancer, a news anchor or a doctor. I thought that every day of my adult life would be rocked out in heels, full make-up and a faithful gym-going bod. This was my idea of glamour.
It’s funny how life has a way of sorting itself out. For the first dream, I’ve had a few too many devastating injuries, flat feet and not enough of a natural “dancer’s body” to do much past college dancing. I’m not a morning person and quite frankly, I simply changed my mind about my 10 year old dream of reporting the latest and greatest on the telly (although I did have a fun little time doing some work-related TV broadcasts in Brazil). And as for the intended MD dream, I met my husband on a blind date just two weeks after graduating with a BS in Exercise Science and the intention of grad school for a medical career the next year. We moved overseas (something we BOTH wanted to do) for work when we got married and long story short…I haven’t been to grad school. Many in the professional world might consider me a complete and total failure. And if I saw my messy hair, typical sweatpants and kangaroo pouch back then, I might have come to the same conclusion. However, my dreams have, albeit slowly, changed.
Some recent events have thrown my mind into thinking about this topic. When I was a teenager, I worked in a Physical Therapy office for a dear mentor who was a walking example of qualities I wanted in a future husband (not in a creepy way-promise!). His wife was a perfect example of qualities I needed to attain to be a good wife and mother. She was always so nice and interested in how everything was going with everybody else. I loved their whole family, including their awesome kids. Currently, this wonderful mother is fighting a battle with the side effects of MS and other issues. She was recently put on hospice. When I found out, it seemed impossible. I had just seen her in January and she seemed like she was on the mend. I remember how optimistic she was and her excitement to meet my little girl. I’ve been devastated for them and thinking about them a lot.
When you think of your life in retrospect, I don’t think many will look back on “what you did with your life” professionally. When I think about this woman, I don’t think of her major course of study at University, her domestic “skills” we’re all so worried about getting or what she did or didn’t do for a living. I think of her four young kids. I think of how she’s been molding them into who they are…and how they are wonderful. I think of how she loves them unconditionally and gives them what they need. I think of how they adore her.
While Skyping with my parents tonight and talking about how these friends are doing, the Babycakes leaned over and kissed me on the side of my cheek without being provoked to do so. She’s never done that before. She did the new trick another two times, adding her sweet little arm and hand to the cheek each time a little later on in the conversation.
Can you believe the unconditional love of a child? Any who have experienced this sort of love in any role, be it mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandparents or friends are truly blessed. I’m overwhelmed tonight by the feeling of love children come into this world with. We all were meant to be in family units. As parents, we can and should pursue other things to further ourselves in our lives, but by far the most important pursuit should be our families. I’m so glad my parent’s most important role was just that…being our parents. Maybe I was born to learn how to be a mother.
After having this reaffirmation, and checking off a quick “to-do” in another room, I came back to find Amelia-Jayne in another new situation. Sitting right next to my heels I kicked off from church, she was happily eating the poop right out of a trash-can bound diaper I had just barely changed. So, off we went, to throw all of our clothes in the washer and her in the tub. It might not be what I had in mind…But hey, this is my new version of glamorous.
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