Sundays. Church. Anything uplifting.
I use to LOVE these things. They relaxed me, I left feeling the sweet spirit and they were moments of peace in my life.
Nothing about the goodness of these has changed…the Church is still true, Sunday is still the Sabbath and uplifting things are still flyin high. BUT, since our church time got switched to 11 am to 2 pm (right in the middle of BOTH of somebody’s naptimes) and babycakes started teething they’ve been quite the opposite of heavenly.
Don’t get me wrong…I have a wonderful baby. She’s super happy 98% of the time and a joy to be around. But I think she’s aware of the stillness and silence at church. And feels the need to fill it. And be held, preferably while mommy stands bouncing her in the back. Between hefting her 20+ pounds, her car seat and loaded diaper bag, my arms are shaking by the end of any meeting. And why such a loaded diaper bag? Well that’s because Sundays seem to be that special day when she spits up twice as much as usual and has explosions of the bum. Mass spit up and blow-outs aren’t uncommon on other days, but seriously happen so much more on Sundays. We always start out clean, but both come home sopping wet. I also bring an arsenal of toys/books to TRY to keep her entertained. Instead of playing with these things, she prefers pulling up or down my dress, pulling my hair and attacking my jewelry….but she’s very happy while she’s doing that. People watching is a plus though, looking excitedly around the room and smiling keeps her busy for the first half hour or so. Then it’s time for a nap and she now refuses to go to sleep in public…there’s just too much for her to keep tabs on!I don’t know what happened…it seems like just last month she would just sleep and the only concern was spit up/blow outs…And now…well, you get the idea. Today I was so excited to go to our regional Relief Society Conference because Sister Silvia Allred came to speak. Amelia-Jayne was great for the first twenty minutes, flirting and smiling at people…then she wouldn’t take a bottle or let me hold her for a nap, so I had to take her out THREE times. Every time I would take her out she was completely fine…happy as a clam. So, I’d venture back in, climb up the theatre stairs, just barely get my buns back in a seat when she'd let out her shrieks. I gave up and left the building, dropping a burp rag on the way out but not daring to stop and pick it up. I found refuge in the grass and called my mom. Baby's cries immediately turned to smiles and giggles playing in the grass. What a little stinker. I just don’t want her thinking that she can get out of anything by crying (which sounds like she already has learned) and I don’t want to be a person that makes a habit of becoming borderline inactive because of strict nap times, although now I can see why.
This was her about 2 minutes into the walk home in her papoose…I knew she was exhausted. How can I stay frustrated at those cheeks?
Sorry for this novel of a brain dump. I would LOVE some parenting advice…so tell me how it’s done, people!
I thank you in advance for saving my sanity.
I know you don't know me, but our hubby's were mission comps in Honduras. I just wanted to say hang in there. I'll be honest, I have absolutely no easy solution. I always packed a super full diaper bag w/different types of snacks, toys, etc, but knew that I would just be sitting in the halls for a few months. By the time they're about a year old we start making sure going out in the hall is way less fun than sitting in church (no toys or treats in the halls & by 18 mo. it means time out). I basically just wanted to say, hang in there. You're not alone. This is kind of a right of passage. You're perseverance in going is still a great example to her even if you feel like you're not getting anything out of it.
ReplyDeleteRemember 'this too shall pass,' and she'll grow in and out of phases. I feel the same way lots of times at church. It's okay, because Heavenly Father knows you and your babe and what you need and He also knows that some things are just a part of being a mommy. Sometimes babies just have to learn too. I remember someone telling us to not change our lives so much that the family revolves around the baby, but that the baby should fit into the family. Does that make sense? Don't give up. You can do it! (Even in the hard times). Maybe none of this is useful, but I hope something is. Heavenly Father will continue to bless you and help you and your babe to both get the things you need. :)
ReplyDeleteMiranda, I feel for you! And I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help yesterday at the conference. (By the way, it wasn't nearly as good this year as last year, so you didn't miss as much...) I remember especially feeling this way the first time I had a little one. As a new mommy I REALLY needed those times of spiritual renewal at meetings and I just didn't feel I was getting it often enough. And not having your husband there much of the time would make it harder! You've gotten some wonderful advice already that I can't really improve upon, but I just wanted to reiterate how important those righteous habits are. Even if you're not getting much out of church right now, Amelia-Jayne is getting used to being there for three hours each week and both of you can feel the spirit. Also, don't underestimate the power of your own example on others. We're all learning from each other and I, for one, have been impacted by your faithful attendance with or without Jordan. And I really enjoyed your talk today, as did the investigator sitting next to me. You did a fabulous job!
ReplyDeleteI had a friend who said once that the only reason a mom still goes to church when she has any children under 18 months is to stay in the habit because you really don't get much out of it. That said, one thing that helped us was making a separate church bag and never letting Little play with/see those toys during the week so when Sunday rolled around he was excited about playing with them and what not (it worked with snacks too). It's not much, but it helped a little bit so at least for that first hour we didn't feel like we were losing a wrestling match. Good luck though! And just know, when she hits 18 months you get to pay attention in church again and the time between now and then will fly by. Honestly, sometimes I even miss the days when I used to have to rock him out in the hall. Strange, but true. =)
ReplyDeleteI've started to tell myself every sat night how crappy going to church with 2 kids, by myself is going to be. I expect every minute to be an endurance race, that way when things go half decent I enjoy every second. I get as prepared as I can be the night before and then when things go wrong, just chalk it up to it being out of your control. You do everything you can and let go of the rest. People around you may stare/make judgements but who cares. A lot of people know how hard it is from when they were going through it so don't be afraid to allow someone else to help when offered. I feel a lot better sitting in church thinking I'm not learning anything than I am sitting at home feeling crappy that I didn't even try. I do the special snacks and toys that only come out for Sundays as well and that works... for a bit. There are a few things that you can try, but it seems for me that every Sunday is different. some things work, and some things don't. Things seriously have been going better for me when I expect them to go bad. Then it doesn't throw me so bad when things are hard... cause I expected it.
ReplyDeleteKara M