Confessions of an anxious momma-to-be…

I'm back in Utah today after a couple of fantastic weeks at home.  It was harder leaving my mom and dad and my home this time than when we moved abroad...I think it's because I know the next time I see them I'll no longer be just their daughter...I'll be another girl's mother.  Which I am scared to death of and elated over all at the same time.  But, I'm pretty sure that we've been blessed as women to "know" how to do these mothering type things...and hopefully we adapt and learn as we go.  I just hope the learning curve isn't too steep…and the L & D pain isn’t too bad. ;)

Another reason could be that I'm also leaving my obstetrician, who I  really like.  With my medical background from school, you would think that I would have no problem with any doctor.  The years of work they have to do to get where they are should mean trust in a bottle (well, in most cases)...and usually it does.  Not so this time. With my own doctors it's just about me and my body. This is my baby.  And I've felt this whole new surge of needing to REALLY like and trust this doc.  

Plus, a big reason is that we're still in the middle of an international move.  We've been trying to close on this house we found in Vernal for what seems like forever.  But between the finickiness of FHA, the ever growing list of rules HUD applies and our unique work and living history...we're still without a place to live and only 6 1/2 weeks until our little girl is due.  But we're moving to our new town, Vernal, UT, on Tuesday after Jordan's brother's wedding...soooo, we're crossing every finger and toe we have that it will close next week.  Because we all know that babies don't care about the bank or the government's timetable...she'll come regardless!  Before I had ambitions of an organized and decorated house before she got here.  Now I just want a clean place to set up her pack n' play. :)

However, there are lots of wonderful things to not be nervous about...like how I scheduled our appointment with who Google says is the best baby doc in the area and their office had no problem fitting me right in…or how I received this package in the mail from J’s work, thinking it was a piece of equipment for J, to find out later that it was a care package from Pason.  They wanted to “thank me for my support during Jordan’s training.” Jaw drop.

 

I think the Air Force Wives' Clubs of a couple of decades ago were the only people I’ve heard of doing something like that…and this is just the company! With that little wonder and how they’ve treated us so far, it reassures me that this company treats their employees well.  I am so grateful our work decision is turning out…another reason is how I bought a virtually new pack n’ play at a garage sale for $25 and later found the same one at Target for upwards of 180 big ones (love me some bargains) and how the little miss will be in it right by us soon…another great one is how I get to see this big guy change outfits monthly in our new town’s main drag. This let’s me know that the Vernalites have a sense of humor and might accept our kind of crazy.

(Oh yes, that’s Dan the Dino in his fishing outfit to welcome summer.)

…and most importantly, how I finally get to be with my husband for more than once a month visits.  I am SUPER happy about that one.  Although, J may be surprised at how poorly baby cakes and I share the bed now…haha.

So, there you have it.  What makes me pretty nervous and what makes me pretty happy.  I’m sure it will all work out….but sometimes I need to simply feel a little justified in my insanity and know I’m not losing it!